Monday, 16 February 2015
This is holding me back in my career
We had a guest lecture from the Army Reserve recruitment people today, I actually attended a similar lecture last year too and was desperate to join.
Ever since I can remember I wanted to join the army as a combat medic but I was unable to due to having asthma as a child. Since I haven't taken any asthma medication for around ten years now, I would be able to apply if not for my weight.
I need to have a BMI of 32 or less to join as a student nurse and mine is currently a little over 39, I also need to be able to run a mile and a half in 14 minutes but believe it or not, even at my weight I could probably do that. I was quite fit before I gained all this weight and I don't think it would take me too long to get back to that level of fitness.
I went over and spoke to the two women giving the lecture and they were lovely, they said I would get help to lose the weight before I went for my fitness tests and I was actually really positive about it.
That is until I thought about what on earth I would eat if I was away somewhere in the middle of nowhere living on those food packs they have. I don't think I could do that, how will I know what's in them? Will there be anything I can eat? How weird will people think I am if I can't eat anything? and more importantly what on earth will happen if I am away for two weeks and there is literally nothing I can eat. Its not like I can do all that work with nothing to eat for two weeks, I am pretty sure I would collapse and end up in hospital myself instead of treating people in one.
I honestly don't know what to do. Its honestly a dream job for me and I know I would love it but I really don't know what I would do about food and that's even if I can lose this weight so that I can even get in in the first place.
The benefit of the Army Reserves is that there's no commitment on my part so I guess if I really struggled with it I could just give it up but it makes me so sad that my food issues may take another exciting part of my life away from me.
I am honestly wondering how on earth I got this far in life without realising how big of an issue my problems with food really are.
My first weigh in since starting to use the Noom app is tomorrow (actually it wants me to do it today but I have no scales at home and no time to go to the gym today so it will need to wait) perhaps I will have lost a little and will feel more positive.