Thursday, 21 January 2016

How did I end up like this?

I guess a question most picky eaters like me ask themselves is how did I end up like this? or even why me?

I know its a question I often ask, I wonder why I am the way I am. I honestly think if I could figure out why I am the way I am, really find the root of the problem then maybe I could fix it.

I think about phobias and how they often start with a bad experience. I have never had a bad experience with food that either myself or my mother are aware of. I am not scared of food the way I would be if I had a phobia, other people's food doesn't bother me at all.

Was I just a fussy child that was allowed to get away with it? That's what the internet wants you to believe. Most articles about adult picky eaters will have at least a dozen comments along those lines, if it isn't the theme of the article itself that is. This is the hardest question to answer because I was never force fed anything as a child, never left sitting at the table with the same meal in front of me till I ate it the way some folks are. I never felt forced to eat things I didn't like so that would suggest I was allowed to get away with my fussiness. However I was always like this, at school, at home, at friends houses. Surely if it was just to get my own way I would have eaten those bloomin' potatoes in school so I could get outside to play, but I just couldn't they were a bizarre texture and I was always sitting in the lunch hall till lessons started again.

Lets just say for a minute that I was a fussy kid who was allowed to get away with being that way - then why as an adult cant I change? I desperately want to eat better, am at my wits end trying to lose weight and literally begging doctors for a solution I know they will never find. If I was just a fussy kid then why didn't I eat salad like my friends did when I was a teenager? Why did I refuse to go to events that involved food because I was too scared there would be nothing I could eat? I didn't choose to be this way.

Why does even the thought of some foods make me sick? Why did I once vomit because my hotdog had touched an onion and I could taste the offending onion even though there were no onions there? I just don't understand why I am like this, why me? I want so badly to change.


  1. Kirsty, have you ever thought about having hypno therapy? It has helped people with severe eating disorders before. I'd give it a go! x

    1. The honest answer is that I cant afford it. I have heard reports from adult picky eaters that have had some success with hypnotherapy so I would definitely consider it if I could afford it. To be honest I would try just about anything if only I had the money

  2. The one thing I can't be called is a picky eater. I will eat just about anything - except seafood so I can still relate to where you are coming from. The mere thought of eating something like crab or shellfish turns my stomach!

    1. This is the second time I have tried to reply to your comment! Blogger sure is being funny these last few days.

      I cannot stand seafood. Its probably the only food I cannot stand to be in the same room as, dead or alive! Someone once threw a bag of prawns behind the bar for me to put in the fridge, one escaped and was coming after me so I jumped up on the sink unit and refused to come down until someone rescued me! I have since found out that prawns cannot see when they are out of water and that it couldn't possibly have been coming to get me but I still don't care, I hate the little buggers!