Wednesday, 22 April 2015

I have slipped back into bad habits

With being on placement and working three or four twelve hour shifts every week for the last eight weeks while trying to write an essay, study for an exam and do my best to help out my sick mother I have slipped into my bad habits again recently.

Its really difficult for me when I am working these shifts, so little of what I eat is portable and reheatable. I guess I need to try harder if I am being honest but all I have eaten for the last eight weeks is the same three or four pasta dishes over and over again. I have three ready meals I can tolerate so I just have to rotate them, or eat toast while at work.

It is really depressing, everyone in the staff room has lovely looking salads or fruit and I have basically the same thing every day. Porridge or toast for breakfast break and one of these stupid pasta things for lunch. I don't even really like the pasta things if I am honest, but it something I know I will be able to eat since its not like I have any way to get an alternative if I don't like something.

Nightshifts are the worst because usually someone will bring food for everyone or they will all order out. I cant do that. I feel horrible because people make an effort to make sure there is enough for me to have some too and I have to turn it down but its better than possibly vomiting I guess.

I know I need to change, I am just not sure how I am going to do it. All the foods I like are unhealthy.

The good news is that according to the hospital scales I have actually managed to lose some more weight. Of course until I get back to the gym and check on the scales there I wont be sure since all scales can be slightly different but its quite a big difference so hopefully I have lost something. According to the hospital scales I have lost three kilos which would be amazing considering how badly I have been eating. I don't know how on earth I have managed to lose anything, I am on my feet all day but that's really not much different than normal if I am honest, and I have been eating like crap.

So I guess I have a reason to look forward to the gym this week!

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